If you are broken you might attract a fixer and co-dependancy


                                        If you are broken you might attract a fixer.

                          (Excerpt from the forth coming book: "Neural Pathways to Love.")

 

Maybe you dream of finding your knight in shining armor. It might feel romantic for a man to swoop in to save or take care of you. Back in the day, this was called a fairy tale romance. Today it is called co-dependent. I am not saying that it is wrong to take care of each other in a relationship. Healthy relationships do have an element of supporting one another and making sure one another is alright. However, there is a big difference between supporting your partner and needing to fix them or their life. It is dysfunctional when the relationship is based on getting fixed or needing to fix someone. The danger of not having your life clear and cleaned up first is that you might attract a partner that likes and needs to fix women to feel good about himself. He might appear to be a knight in shining amour but what might be really going on under the surface is his own lack of self worth. The problem with this scenario is that he will need you to stay “broken” in order to have you be useful to him. If you do pull your self together you might become obsolete to him and he will leave. Not to mention, this is a terrible foundation to build a relationship on.

 

That said, if you already have your life together and a man does things here and there for you it is a beautiful thing. The right man for you will want to make your life easier and be of service. It becomes dysfunctional when you need him to help you all the time or you feel helpless with out him or if he doesn’t know any other way to connect with you unless he is saving you or doing something for you.

 

When women come to me wondering why they can’t meet that special guy, we begin to look at all aspects of their lives for clues to what might be blocking them. To prepare for healthy love to come in you and your life need to be a healthy safe space for it to do so. A cluttered house, unfinished tasks and long to do lists, old love tokens or EX boyfriend clutter or even toxic people can be huge factors in someones inability to attract the kind of partner that they want.

  

Before you are really ready for someone special to come into your life, you need to  begin by making some space for this new person. Space in the physical environment, space in the mental environment and mostly space in your heart.

 

 In the F.L.I.R.T Program you will learn how to become a clean clear space to attract a healthy partner.

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